My unspoken thoughts….
just an F.Y.I these are my thoughts at the moment I apologize for the grammar I honestly didn’t feel like correcting them..
maybe it was because we were still learning and maturing and figuring out what life had planned for us or what I could really accomplish in the mental state that i;m in. maybe i’m forcing myself to be okay with everything and repressing the past that continues to haunt me and forcing myself to be better and stronger when I’m not I can’t accept the person that i am because no one accepted me for who i was. The anxiety and the stress comes from past experiences and I don’t know what to do with myself or with the piling assignments I’m getting from school, i really hate how everyone in our program judges us or me for not completing my assignments i don’t need people’s sympathy but apart of me does want it apart of me wants people to understand me. the anxiety and the stress is making this assignment very difficult for me to complete and the motivation is simply not there anymore none of it is I don’t even want to go to school anymore my mood has completely changed and honestly I wasn’t born into a smart family that taught me values, to work hard. I never learned how to organize myself my assignments. and as i listen to classiqaui’s project’s song I can’t go on my own, I’m wondering if I can continue to go on like this? my guidance counselor in highschool was the only one who believed in me and an incredible person. he told me that i would eventually break down and that i wouldn’t know when it would happen but i would not be able to keep going on like this** at the time i was emotionally unstable with my family and the problems that occurring at that time in my life really affected me and had a tole on me. I’ve never gotten over it till this day my family is still somewhat a family. its made me the person i am today and those problems that i’m facing with myself are still there. I have only repressed them and ignored them I’ve never talked about it with anyone. I’m wondering if I really do need help. Mentally I’m still scarred by my past and it hasn;t allowed me to move on, its affecting my life, my studies and my well being. I’m wondering if this is what we all have to overcome as individuals, but I’m really just wanting someone to guide me on a right path and I’m hoping that path still exists.
